Will blog for cookies

If I play my cards right, I might just get through December without blogging.  (This one doesn't count 'cause I put 'This one doesn't count' in parenthensis.  ...parenthesis.  no n!)  Not that I have a problem with blogging mind you, I just feel much more evolved considering a year ago I would be having a tizzy over such gaps in my journal.  Today I'm like, Hey blog, I don't need you to feel good about myself.  I have crocheting and Netflix now.  Have you met them?  Yeahhhh... they don't correct my spelling. 

Netflix is a proper noun!  This little squiggly red line is making us all look silly.

I have never experienced drunkenness.  (Nor do I plan to.)  I have, however, had a dangerous amount of cookies and milk in the last 20 minutes.  There are no other adults here currently to say 'All right buddy, you need to take it easy.  Is there someone you can call?'.   After spending over 30 minutes acting and reenacting the scene where the kids buy a ticket to the north pole for Frosty in Frosty the Snowman, I needed to blow off some steam.

Brenda had the kitchen set up like a train station and she fed me every line.  I got to play the ticket master a couple times.  "No money?!  NO TICKET!"

Dang, she's adorable.


Can I just say- last week sucked.  It SUCKED.  The shooting at the Clackamas mall, then Friday in Connecticut.  I even heard there was another shooting somewhere in a church...

Another cookie?  Don't mind if I do...

The other day, in defiance of my helpless frustration I spent my day, filled with everyday errands and chores, getting outside of myself.  I sparked up friendly banter in the checkout line.  I was a patient, generous driver.   I helped a stranger carry a heavy box.  I looked people in the eyes and smiled.  I complimented peoples babies, hair, Christmas-head pieces...  I made a conscious effort to not be so reserved and do something good, as small as it may be. 

Maybe I scared a few people...

But, I don't know, it seems all I can do.  Drown out the bad with good.  

Well now!  Did I just get profound???

That deserves another cookie.

Mario, ignoring Suzie with a camera.

Merry Christmas everybody.  Let's all hug and smooch the people we care about.  -specially Garret, 'cause he's got Nutella on his face...  

(Blogger is letting me know that it does not recognize 'Nutella' as a word.  I say, in the spirit of goodness, THANK YOU BLOGGER!  You're always watching out for me...)

I've ROOWINNED Karate Kid

A few minutes ago I found myself staring at the tv watching He-Man, alone.  ...How long has Garret been out of the room? 

No more excuses.  I'm doing a journal entry.

I'll avoid all the details of the last month because I'm already yawning and wondering what's on tv besides He-Man.  (I typed Heman, HeMan and He Man and nothing looked right.  So I googled it in absolute desperation.) 

.

I'm not the same person I was a month ago.  -If you think that sounds dramatic you should have heard Brenda screaming "You ROOWINNED Christmas!" today when Suzie kissed an ornament...   

No really, I can hardly call myself a runner (it's temporary), I am no longer the Young Women President at church (kill me now ...or not 'cause good grief Lindsay, life goes on), I relearned how to crochet and bought a pair of reading glasses (do I stop dying my gray hair now or wait until this afghan is done?), and I let my finger nails grow long (they're real pretty and I'm tapping everything).  So I don't even recognize myself anymore.  Did I mention I cut myself some bangs?  I know, wild stuff.  

But things are keepin' on here nevertheless. 

Suzie is demanding more and more independence.  It's cool when she wants to get herself out of her car seat, into her dress, or make a sandwich.  It's not so cool when you intrude on her as she's applying mascara to her face, her hair, the cat...

Brenda has become a con artist.  Yesterday she approached me with my phone and said "Call my daddy".  I dialed Mike to see what would happen (Mike was just in the kitchen) and Brenda ran to her room as he answered.

Mike: Hello?  (We hovered over his phone on speaker curious what Brenda was up to)

Brenda: HO HO HO!  Merry Christmas!

M:  Is this Santa Clause?

B: HO HO HO!  ...Yes.

M:  What can I do for you Santa?:

B: HO HO HO!  You get a Christmas tree tomorrow!

M:  Tomorrow?

B: HO HO HO!  ...Yes.

M:  Hey Santa, what is Brenda going to get for Christmas?

B:  HO HO HO!   a snowball making machine and a dog!

M:  I don't know about the dog, Santa.  Maybe the elves can make something else?

B: HO HO HO!  ...OK.

M:  OK thanks Santa.

B: HO HO HO!  bye.

She came out of her room, set my phone on the table and casually went back to her activities without a word.  ...On another note, guess what we bought today!

Garret's been melting my heart lately.  I've made rolls (one of his favorites) almost every other day lately just to see him bounce around the kitchen. I even got a roll-breath nuzzle-kiss.  Yup.  Oh, and he's been sleeping better lately which makes for exciting mornings as he sprints and giggles to the bus ...with me chasing after holding his shoe and backpack.

Mike's been keeping us warm with fires in the pellet stove, and keeping us fed with warm, yummy dinners.  I'm going to go kiss the cook as soon as this is posted...

So who knows when my next journal entry will be.  I've become rebellious with this blog and I'm hand making multiple Christmas presents.  (Hey Monica- death by doily.  teehee)  And really, I need to spend some more time working on my Karate Kid impression-

We'll call this the before picture and I'll practice bunches...

vicarious-ness-ly-ish

I was about 19 when I admitted to my mom that Christmas just wasn't as thrilling as it used to be.  I hadn't meant to complain, just feeling a bit sad that the holiday magic had mellowed.  Mom smiled and said, Just wait til you have kids.  It'll come back. 

I've figured out that applies to Halloween too.

I did NOT take all her candy.  She has PLENTY.

FAMILY FACE-OFF!!

dadadeedoodadee...

dadumdeedoo...

Yeah so?

It's Saturday night...

What are YOU doing?

spooks are SO last week

It feels like we've been doing Halloween for months!  Our little paper creations are still scattered around the house and the fake (or are they??) spider webs keep getting wound up in Garret's clothes.  I've starting humming Christmas music and crafting pinterest-Christmas do-dads, so the fact that we're just getting to the real pumpkins feels "off".

This is all probably because we had a Halloween themed birthday party, complete with fabulous costumes, for Garret and Brenda a couple weeks ago.  I was deliciously rebellious and didn't take one picture.  Not one.  But the candy, decor and goulish games have apparently filled my Halloween cup and I'm ready for Christmas movies!  (The only time of year I can handle corny, sappy, roll-your-eyes syrup coming from the tv.)

So Suzie hummed Jingle Bells while giving her pumpkin a face...

I'll get through this.  Brenda won't let me cheat her out of her favorite holiday!   

Now for some eggnog...

reaching across the aisle

If you know me on facebook you are probably aware that I did, indeed, watch the presidential debates.  I hope you enjoyed my rants.  ...You're welcome.  If you don't know me on facebook then you're missing a bunch of this:

accompanied by wise and witty comments of a political nature.  

(All you facebook friends HUSH.)

And I work so hard SO HARD to be open minded.  I listen and reason and hum and haw.  I don't listen to petty, conservative talk show hosts who think name calling is a productive approach.  I watch my perspective- If a republican did that, would I think it so terrible?.  I've even graciously tuned into liberal radio shows, all the while keeping a straight face that looks like I'm thoughtfully considering their argument.  Big E for effort!  And while I'm sure I carry a bias that creeps into my thoughts and conversations, I believe I've developed a balance that keeps me ...reasonable.

And after all this, when people continue to wave that liberal flag, I can take a breath, keep my calm, open my mouth and respectfully ask-

Really people.  CRUSHING debt and we get "free" phones?

...score?

dusting off the DIY

This project has been in the works for hmmm... MONTHS.  Awhile back I did some kid pics with certain intention.

these pics

It was about 3 months later that the posters were printed at Costco.  One month later was attempt #1 to make foam boards, and then another 2 months for me to say that's it, I'm getting frames. 

TAADAA!!

 My babies are posters!

20 x 30 posters are $8 at Costco.  The frames were on sale for $4 each.

$24 total.

SHAPOW!!

Now since I've rejoined pinterest my creative mind is all awhirl with the many projects I'll be doing daily.  ...And by daily I probably mean annually.  ...And by annually I probably mean once a decade because remember this post?  Well, old habits die hard-

AAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

For the love of Garret

Whenever I get a good shot of Garret I'm renewed in my confidence of portraiture.  'Cause getting a good picture of my boy is HARD.  I suppose when I do get one I could chalk it up to luck but I'd rather take the high road and say Dang, I'm awesome.

Now these shots are not his best pictures, but they are so him.  SO him.  Top: flailing hands and averted eyes.  Middle: fleeting, direct glances are full of life and intensity.  Bottom: If he don't care you got a camera, he don't care...

We had friends stop by this evening WHO TOTALLY GOT SUCKED INTO THE VP DEBATE AND WE SAT IN JITTERY SEMI-SILENCE WHILE BIDEN WAS A JERK AND RYAN DIDN'T FIGHT HARD ENOUGH AND WE'D MUTTER COMEBACKS AND JUMP AT THE MODERATOR WHO WAS RIDICULOUS BUT IN THE END SMART, CONSERVATISM WON WITH SUBSTANCE 'CAUSE RIGHT IS RIGHT.  ISN'T THAT RIGHT.  And during their visit Garret kept things interesting with his giggles and prances.  (Boys can prance.  If John Travolta can get away with it...)  I dressed that kid at least 4 times and each time he'd come back, nothing but his diaper on, laughing at his victory.  Our friends just waved off my apologies with a laugh and a shrug.  They even seemed charmed. 

Oh heavens I love down-to-earth people.

...But you know, my boy is easy to love.  Not easy to photograph, but easy to love. 

woman power

Lately the simple chitchat includes the question 'How's life with the kids back to school?'.  I shrug and mumble, s'good.  But I'm really thinking- 'My number one companion is a 3-yr-old who might win our manipulation war.  ...help me.'. 

covert operations

When I told Brenda that SUPER SPIES do their homework I got results.

doing stuff and not doing stuff

I guess the tightwad in me trumps the activist.

Multiple sticker-making websites wanted me to pay actual money to make/order my awesome activist sticker.  (I thought the price with an order of 100+ units was reasonable.  ...reasonable if I have 99 paying orders.) So I stepped back for a tightwad breather.  Tightwad says a trip to Micheal's craft shop might get me a sticker for less that $25 and not require me to become some sticker-website-club member.  I mean really, are we going to have club meetings?  Club dues?  I really look forward to all the emails from my sticker friends...  So throw in a Micheal's coupon and tightwad and activist might become friends.

If I hear a bunch of squawking- "I want my sticker!  Give me a sticker!"...

First, I might snap- "SUZIE!  HOLY PANCAKES!  YOUR STICKERS ARE RIGHT THERE!!"

Then I'll turn red realizing it's not Suzie and we're not talking about the princess stickers all over my living room.

But really, if enough people want some, I'll do an order. 

For now, let's discuss a scrubbed kitchen and a broken dryer door...

They both make me smile.

Roe and Wade in minivans

Have you seen the pro-choice posters with wire hangers?  -the ones saying 'this is not a surgical tool' or 'what will women turn to?'?  You know, 'cause all these poor women will be forced to  endanger themselves with scary alternatives...

That just TICKS me off.

It's like a kid telling their parents that if alcohol isn't allowed then they'll turn to the cleaning supplies under the sink.


It's a threat.


It's a stinkin' cowardly threat.


So tonight, instead of pacing and shouting silently to myself, I'm entering the debate by making a logo inspired by an ignorant, pro-choice sticker on the back of a minivan in line at the kids' school the other day.  Something like 'my life, my body, my choice'...

Here we go-

Yeah, take that grey minivan.  My sticker is way better.

Let's take responsibility people.  And if it is a case where there is NO CHOICE (rape, risk of death) let's stand by the individual to have a choice then.

See?  I'm totally pro choice.

what she said

If this post goes askew I blame Darwin Deez who is singing to me as I type. 

I have this "notepad" in my iphone that has been collecting memorable (or not 'cause I had to write them down) quotes from my girls.

Time to purge!

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

I was on the couch as Brenda and Suzie puttered about the living room.  Suzie announced that she is a frog and I giggled as she bounced around.  Brenda seemed agitated watching her little sister.  She paced a bit, slapped her head a couple times, then suddenly came next to me, cupped my ear with her hand and whispered, "Mom.  Suzie is not a frog!"  

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

One evening Brenda was at the table fiddling with something when I suddenly heard her start to cry.  I asked what was wrong and she looked at me with big, sad, red eyes and said, "I don't like being different!".  With my heart about to burst I asked her why being different was sad.  She said with a few sobs, "I don't want to be different, I don't like it!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing!  I had never heard such a lucid, self-aware statement from my daughter, which was exciting but at the same time I wanted to sob with her.

This went on for a couple minutes as I struggled for the perfect mommy-words.  But the desperate tension broke when Brenda added- "If only I had real legs!"

.
.
OH.  ...She was reenacting Dora, the mermaid story.

Well done Brenda!  Well done.

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

I've got a quote from Suzie but it's about female anatomy so we'll pretend I wrote it out and we're all laughing.  ...And she's been asking what color everybody's poop is.  

Now speaking of Darwin Deez-

Hood to Coast video

Us relayers just love slide shows!  Here's the latest...

egg brain

Remember those old commercials...

This is your brain.

*egg*

This is your brain on drugs.

*egg in a hot frying pan*

...If they added a line about me-

This is Lindsay's brain on a Thursday afternoon.

*scrambled egg being served to a dozen wild monkeys*


Just over a week ago I was calmly nodding along with others talking about school starting this week.  "Oh how the Summer sailed by..." we chatted.  But in my egg-brain the conversation was different.  AW DANG.  THIS IS SOMETHING I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AWARE OF, ISN'T IT.  ....I THINK I'LL MAKE MY WAY TO THE STORE AND BUY SOMMME ...PENCILS??? 

Brenda did make it to school, in one peace, with most of her listed supplies.  She couldn't have been more proud of her new angry birds shirt.  If it wasn't for social graces and hygiene she'd grow old in it.

School starts on Friday for Garret and I just need to make sure I have a clean shirt for him.  Can I handle that?


And as sweet as it is to have two kids headed back to school, I don't believe it'll do my egg-brain any good.  A recent personality test has informed me that my scrambled brain is a wonderful, permanent part of me and ought to be celebrated.

.
.
.
I forgot to buy bread today. 

SHAZAM!  PAR-TAY!!  

BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE!!!!!!

teehee

being stinky is secondary to being awesome

I'm having trouble journaling about this year's Hood to Coast relay.  I'd like to write something inspirational that moves everyone to get just as excited as I am.  Like the day I switched to Ban deoderant.  Words wouldn't express the magnitude of awesomeness.  All I could say is- YOU GOTTA TRY IT.

So as you read this post, just pretend that little Connie Talbot is singing her little heart out and Oprah is in the background giving everyone a car.

That's how exciting this is.



I was nervous about this year's relay because I was given the hardest leg which included 3 long stretches and 2 wild climbs.  I kept apologizing ahead of time, about how I was going to make everyone wait forever and we'd never get to the beach at a reasonable hour...

And as I completed each run I stunned myself.  Hey that was a GREAT run!  I ran that how fast?  Are you sure??? 

Needless to say I was giddy all weekend.

It helps to have friends who bring out the goon in you.

They could make the DMV fun.

The energy at the start line is a party like non other.

The sights alone made you feel like you are part of something special.

My mom!  I got to run with my MOM!

The people, the sand, the pain...  ALL GOOD!

I've never experienced a drug-induced high and never plan to.  But hearing your team name over the loudspeaker as you all cross the finish line is a natural high that I doubt any drug can duplicate.

We laughed hard, played hard and RAN HARD. 

See my DAD?!?  YEAH!  He came too!!

GO TEAM!!!

Are you pumped?  You want to come next year?  Ready to try a new deoderant?

You just gotta.

my number, my medal, and my panda express fortune...

P.S.

P.P.S.  That fortune is now laminated and sitting in my wallet ready for the next time I have to drag all 3 kids through Walmart...

If you'll hold while I gather pictures...

Hood to Coast post is in the works...

it's perfectly logical.

Garret spends his Summer days crouched in bushes and spinning in the sunlight.  He'll take frequent indoor breaks to spread Nutella on my bed or throw laundry at the ceiling fans.  I'm sure his flailing in the yard looks odd to passer-bys but there is a method here.  In the bushes he finds a quiet place to tap the ground and maybe enjoy the feel of dirt on his face.  In the sun he's fascinated by the dancing lights and shadows, similar to how we enjoy looking into a kaleidoscope.  See?  He's having a good time.  And if he happens to want his pants off well, if only we could all get away with that, right?

And how about Brenda's odd out-door activities?  

(After an afternoon in the yard today Brenda stood in the dining room and announced that she's proud to be a crazy scientist.)

So, she's just crazy.

I mean, look at the crazy eye.

Kendall + Kristen

Well for one, Scrubs is on tv.  And two, I plan on sleeping in tomorrow.  What we have is a perfect situation to get another post in tonight. 

MY BROTHER GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!!

It's just so exciting that, in the words of Nickelcreek, I could spit on a stranger.  

Well, not on purpose but you know what I mean.  I mean, it's a song.  And it came to mind.  And it's nearly 2 am.  And well, just look at the happy couple.

It was just a really great day.

 yup.

growth (the good kind)

I'm going to do this post like I've been staying caught up all along.  Like everybody knows everything about anything that's been a happenin' here the last while...  And if I refer to the awesome family reunion with a wink, you'll already know how awesome it was and wink back.  And if I sigh about Girls' Camp, you'll sigh with me.

So we're all up to speed then, right?

OK then.

Latest in the news is that Suzie is joining the ranks of the potty-trained.  Yes, she's been 3 for 8 months, but it was me who finally wised up and shoved Suzie into kid-hood.  The little attempts over the last year were half-heartedly given and half-heartedly received.  But there was nothing half-hearted about the way I danced and yelped and cheered around the house when hearing that delightful little tinkling.  Suzie is more enthusiastic about the sticker chart on the door than she is about the toilet.  That's not such a surprise really.  ...Stickers have animals and toilets smell.

"Mom?  Please hold my princess dress.  Mom?  Underwear goes on my bum?  That's silly.  Mommy?  I want 3 stickers.  Suzie get's 3 stickers now.  DOGGY STICKER!  LOOK MOM! DOGGY STICKER!!!!"

Now, I plan on flaunting this.  I have a kid that will be potty trained before starting school.  Before.  YEARS before.  And get this- I'm about down to just one child in a diaper.  ONE.  I haven't been down to one since the day before Brenda was born.  ...Brenda is almost nine.  NINE PEOPLE!  I'm seriously moving up in the world.  Perhaps a new hair-do is in order?  Is it time to start wearing saucy shoes or feathery hats?

Speaking of moving up in the world, I am proud to announce that I have successfully gardened a tomato plant.  ...Plant.  No tomatoes but the plant is still alive.  I did that.  Me.  Last year the poor plant didn't last 2 weeks.  And next year, with fingers crossed I will get the 2013 tomato plant to produce.  Yes I will and do you know why?

Because getting a few green leaves to cough up a tomato can't be harder than potty training.  It can't, right?

I might just be able to do anything.

my iphone can explain...