Christmas noodle poster

Brenda, all on her own, raided my sewing closet (she's not supposed to without me) and sewed a heart onto one of her old shirts.  She whispered to me, asking me to hide it for Suzie, for Christmas.

Then, later while eating spaghetti, she gave her noodles voices.  

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...They were begging for mercy.

A week ago she dressed for church in a green dress with red leggings.  Then, digging thru the Christmas craft box, she made herself a candy cane ribbon headband, a santa-ribbon belt, and pinned her favorite little stuffed animal to her front.  Because he loves Christmas too...

 

Speaking of church, while sitting in a class, Brenda suddenly exclaims "IT'S SOOO LONG!".  Luckily I was able to smother her halfway thru the sentence, but nearby folks chuckled and seemed to sympathize.

**This is just your friendly neighborhood reminder that Brenda is the arc in my eye-roll, the snort in my laugh and the Tim Curry in my Oscar.**

...Wanna see a Christmas present I made her?

I'm thinking a poster print.  A BIG one.

Pooh test

So apparently, when searching online for the Winnie the Pooh personality test, it is very hard, nay, impossible to find something that's printable.  Even then, most of them are more about emotional issues and the various medications needed...

Come on!  This is sweet, innocent, childhood nostalgia!  Let's have some fun with it!

I recently volunteered to prepare a personality test for our church dinner activity.  The plan was to have a simple test at the tables, for fun conversation, then use the results to form groups for Family Feud.  The Winnie the Pooh would be perfect!  But after spending endless time searching online, I donned my doctor hat and wrote one myself.

It turned out cute and, knowing there must be others out there, searching, yearning...  I figured I should share this-

disclaimer- Even with my hours of online study, I am not a doctor.  I know nothing.

I am mostly Tigger, with a bit of Pooh, according to this most professional test...

So go ahead and print this!  Have fun!

You're welcome all you similar searchers.

And I have no rights to Pooh stuff.  ...Is this legal?


P.S. I left out other characters because I'm lazy and because these 5 were the common 5 in all the online tests.

By it's fruits ye shall know October.

A couple hours ago I swore off dairy.  I've done this before, but this time I didn't reward myself, 6 minutes later, with eggnog.  I think I'm winning.

Brenda's barbies were included in the Halloween festivities.

Mike is suddenly way into 70's music.  Don't get me wrong.  It's great.  ...but not like him.  I mean, what's next Mike?  Are we dabbling into the early stages of a mid-life crisis? 

Suzie draws cats on things like dogs territorially pee on trees.

I've been watching 'Dear Genevieve' on Netflix and sometimes I'm a righteous snob thinking "People put too much "need" into expensively decorated homes" and the rest of the time I'm just an everyday snob thinking "I need an expensively decorated home". 

another Halloween/birthday party success!

There's a stray cat and her 3 kittens living in the bushes across the street.  Brenda didn't hesitate to name her Darla and claim her as Shawn's girlfriend.  I am starting to see my future as a crazy cat lady and I'm not hating it...

Halloween parties for adults are a grand idea.  Hillary and Donald approve this message.

Mike just came in, read over my shoulder and said that my first couple sentences don't make sense.  I'm going to stay true to my inner self, follow my bliss, abandon the reigns of my beautiful soul, and other profound mumbo jumbo, and just let that crap land where it may. 

I will do something for Mike, tho.  He wanted me to mention our new endeavor.  We are now podcasters seeking FAME!  So, if you are curious-about or interested-in boardgaming we'd love for you to ignore our horrific grammar, broken up with nervous laughter, and give us a listen.

Here's the link


And now, one last picture.

the opposite of a "duck face" should have a name....

lipstick

As little-brother Tyler and I cruised past Milt Nomad Falls we texted big-brother and sis-in-law, Colton and Lora, building the excitement of our arrival.

Big brother, being far too shrewd to be fooled by autocorrect, recognized Multnomah Falls right off the bat.  Probably picked that up from my sweet drive-by shot, eh?

 Now before I continue with our story, I need to distract you.

Everybody has embarrassing pictures, right?  Like, you didn't know someone had a camera and you had just shoved 8 sour worms into your mouth?  Or maybe you just caught a contagious yawn?

 Oh Macy Macy sweety-niecy Macy.  How embarrassing.  I was pulling old pics off my phone and there you were.  Caught off guard.  I'm so mean.  A lady should never be captured in such a moment.  Has your mother not taught you that yet?  Maybe you'll hate me forever, but you're doing me a big favor so pat yourself on the head...


I want company as I share some embarrassing pictures.




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(hesitation)
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TYLER AND I RAN A HALF MARATHON! 

unprepared 

sore from thought-to-be-mild previous injuries

no breakfast 

wet feet

...We set out just shrugging our shoulders and discussing Blacklist.

Just like my drive-by photography, I am equally skilled while running.
 
(Keep ridiculous Macy in mind.  I mean, good grief, that poor girl...)

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Look at the cool tunnel!

Hey Tyler!  Let's get a running shot in front of the tunnel!

Smile!  My trigger finger's going like a woodpecker buddy!  TURN AROUND!
 
Tyler?  You want me to put the camera down?

I'm just sure this shaky picture will look sweet, Tyler.  Pose like a superhero.

Here's my superhero pose-

This is like, magazine stuff.



You look annoyed, Tyler.  Are we not having fun?

Look at the pretty view!

Well it was rough.  We whined and laughed and growled and snarked and limped and insulted other runners under our breath... 

We were DEAD LAST out of maybe 25 halfers.

...that old lady who passed us probably cheated.

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...somehow.


Look!  A TRAIN!!!

GAG.

What a joke it was!


Luckily, while the run was the excuse, the real spirit of the trip was visiting these folks-

Probably the coolest older brother that I'll never stop looking up to and a SIL who well deserves older brother.  (haha, remember?  how she's too awesome?  haha!  let's never let that die...)

ahh yes.  The limp is no concern. 

Now a sister-love letter to little-brother Tyler,

Dear Tyler,

Years ago when I wrote you that story (by your request -I'm not weird on my own), I made it as odd, as random, and as embarrassingly stupid as my fingers would allow because I know what makes the two of us smile.

Alright, it's time for public humiliation.  Everybody up against the wall.

I think you said you wanted a sequel and while I may be too lazy for that just know that our odd, random and embarrassing antics are some of my favorites.

Have you ever met anyone who doesn't like donuts?  Know why?  'Cause they're in jail.

But as laughably miserable as that run was, I'd do again with you!  Next year?  But this time we say we're doing lots and lots of miles, then we run the 4 miler.  Because the medal was the SAME.  FOR.  EVERYBODY.

...MANSLAUGHTER!!!!

So let's not give up.

Even after we texted some tempting alternative exercise ideas-

I'm just not ready to let it go.

His name's Kevin, let's worship it.

So, favorite-running-partner-brother, what do ya say?

Rest a bit and we meet in a couple weeks for our favorite training run?

Who else will run beside me as we grumble about hills and quote Pinky and the Brain at the same time???

Who else knows what I'm talking about when I shout-

Did you bring a canoe, 'cause there's a river!

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Besides.  The run has spit up a little gem.


Behold, your new FB profile pic-

And one more bit of mush.

Last thing, I promise.

-not to be too syrupy or anything but...

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lipstick.


                                                                                     love, big-sis Lindsay

Dedicated to Karen, who may or may not enjoy her job as a state-park ranger

Hi!

I BACKPACKED THROUGH THE REDWOODS!

BEFORE THIS WEEK I HAD NEVER BEEN TO THE REDWOODS!

HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE REDWOODS?

DID YOU LOVE IT?

DID YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE WALKING THROUGH JURASSIC PARK?

DID YOUR NECK GET SORE FROM GAWKING SKYWARD FOR DAYS???

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BACK TO ME!

THAT'S ME IN A TREE!

THAT'S MY DAD HAVING JUST TAKEN A PICTURE OF A BIG TREE!

THIS IS ME GOING HEY, IT'S ANOTHER CAVE IN A TREE!

THIS IS THE WHOLE GANG IN A TREE!


Now I shouldn't pretend that the entire trip was pure exhilaration.  In reality, 30+ pounds on my back for endless hilly miles hurt my feet.  Sleeping in a tiny tent, in the rain, without a shower ...stunk.  The spiders, slugs, blisters and sweat...  Yeah, there was plenty to frown about.  But the headaches don't compare to the reward.  23 miles, 3 hiking days, terrific company, AND the ENDLESS WONDER of the REDWOODS?  THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF YOU WORK FOR IT??? 

THAT is exhilarating. 

...Why didn't I get a picture of the bear diarrhea?

Dear hunky, awesome, birthday-boy husband,

You are my home-sweet-home.

Thank you for making my home a fun, kind and safe place.

Thank you for making my home a home devoted to God.  

Thank you for making me waffles and laughing at my weird texts. 

Thank you for continuing to fix Garret's swing. 

Thank you for reading with Suzi. 

Thank you for understanding Brenda's games and Star Wars obsession. 

Thank you for being my home.

I reeeeeally want to add something snarky at the end.  ...you know how I have to add snark after being mushy...

ummmmmm....

I don't know. 

Let's just go make out.

Love, your awesome wife.

candy, camping, Sesame Street and families ...and karate.

So Garret has discovered the candy stash and, one at a time, is bringing me peppermints.  But from the kitchen to me, he will not give up the hope that he can lick, bite, gnash his way thru those pesky, clear wrappers.  He knows that the 5-second trip is his chance for independence, yet I'm there at the end to pick up where he left off.  With each piece I'm peeling apart a broken, saliva-ridden symbol of optimism.  An icky-sticky little show of determination....

I "cleaned" my hands off (aka slap-swiped my shorts a couple times) and decided to do a blog post.  (I was working on my lesson for church tomorrow.  ...sharing that would be a much better post...)

Today Brenda, Garret and I chilled at home making rolls, watching Flushed Away and flooding the bathroom.  We were supposed to be with Mike, Suzi and Mike's family at the lake but last night I decided I needed to come home early since Brenda was on the edge of sobbing (from poor sleep) and Garret was threatening to be up all night.  It was sad to not stay but Mike needs a break ...and home has tv, beds and Garret-containing locks... 

BUT.  In the time I was there I swam in the lake, ate chips and corn, swam with Garret, cuddled my 4-week-old nephew to sleep, played psychiatrist in the middle of the lake, showed Suzi how to pee in the bushes, took ZERO pictures and visited with family.  As I drove the 3 hours home with Brenda sleeping in the back, Garret bouncing beside me and my favorite podcast playing on my phone I decided not to feel sorry for myself but enjoy the bag of marshmallows I stole from the campsite...

Besides, if I hadn't have come home, I would have missed the gal selling childrens books door-to-door!  Oh my! 

Doesn't she know that one of the perks of living outside of town is NO D2D salespeople????

She was sweet and I wished her well, then promptly lost her business card...

...If you're waiting for this last picture to move, keep staring and let's test your optimism....

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OK what else, what else...

OH!!!  I signed up for another marathon!  I did I DID!!!  I've got just under 3 months, which is hysterical considering my lack of running in 2015, but I BELIEVE IN MAGIC!!!

I'm totally doing an entire post based on my latest, funny internet finds.  

Really, it could be worse.  I could be caught up in all the current political uproar....

In hopes of making this post actually worth something I'm going to give a sneak peek to any gals in my class tomorrow.

Our lesson is about families and that sweet little gem is a bit of frosting on top.  After all the doctrine and scripture is laid out, we'll frost that baby with some "wheat is wheat".  As in, you are you, eternal is eternal and truth is truth. 

What is ordained of God is ordained of God.

(I'll try to be more eloquent tomorrow.)

Okay, okay.  I'll call it a day.  But I just gotta say, that amongst this disarray, is a GIF made castaway.  Once turned away, for it's topic did stray. ...I deleted in dismay.

But come what may, I just want it to play!  So here you go USA....

 AAAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!  -AYE?

Crafty Cat Stevens

The "Crafty" is because I'm sharing a couple crafts that I've pulled off with minimal drama-

1-  recovering a nasty-old, $5 ottoman with a $3 Goodwill curtain panel-

(This is the "after" picture.  ...If you thought it was the "before" picture -get out of my house.)


2-  A coffee-filter-flower wreath!  In person, it's like my wedding reception puked up a monstrous donut, but in pictures it looks deceptively lovely.  ...perfect for my blog world!

Here's the Pinterest link- LINK

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The "Cat" is to introduce our new cat, Shawn-

Long story, but I'll say this- he's the sweetest, nicest, most-patient, calm, meek and soft cat that's ever been a cat.  Yeah, we luvy-duvy him.
 

...He's been "Suzied".

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And the "Stevens" part is because it comes naturally after "Cat".  ...right?

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Am I getting old?

I'm going to NON-preach about self-image...

Mike left the house today saying, "I need to lose a few pounds."

I said, "Yeah, me too."

Fast forward a few hours when he walks in the house with Tillamook mudslide ice cream.

"WAAHOO!"  I shouted.  -Then it was just the sound of shuffling as we raced for bowls and spoons.

Now, after sitting for a bit, frustrated over my weakness and tight waistband, I thought I'd type out the conversation I just had with myself.

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I've read a few articles and blogs about body image.  Words meant to inspire women to love and accept themselves as they are.  Saying, you are perfect JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Now, THIS IS JUST ME.  I WON'T CLAIM TO KNOW WHAT EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO HEAR/UNDERSTAND.  ...BECAUSE HOW WOULD I KNOW???

BUT, I know what's in my head.

I miss myself, 20 lbs ago when I could run stronger and finding clothes I felt good in wasn't such a challenge.  I felt better, and not because I liked myself more, but I JUST FELT BETTER.

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not obese.  I'm not trying to exaggerate to get compliments.  But what I want to share is my confusion over telling ourselves we are perfect.

No we're not.

And I'm not talking about our bodies.  Well, not ONLY about our bodies.

I'm flawed.  My body doesn't function perfectly and part of the problem is my love affair with ice cream.  I can't lie to myself about it! 

Also I'm selfish.  I'm lazy.  I take good things for granted and too easily get frustrated over silly things.

These are just realities.

But I like myself!  I really do!

I'm fun and friendly.  I'm (usually) patient and down-to-earth.  I'm a bit creative and artistic.  I have stellar hair (that I should try to fix more often) and I have sexy feet.

But really, REALLY this whole conversation, in the end, is very self-absorbed, isn't it?

After I've read these articles, or had long conversations with myself, coming to terms with my current desires and realities connected to my fitness level/weight, I sometimes realize I'VE JUST SPENT HOW MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT MYSELF WHEN I HAVE A FRIEND WHO COULD USE SOME BABY CLOTHES FOR HER LITTLE ONE.  Or- I could be playing a board game and flirting with my handsome husband right now.  Or there's a gal down the street who might want some banana bread today.  Or there are fascinating books about world history, or the kids would LOVE it if I explored the yard with them...

For ME, I've found that the best antidote to negative body/self image is GOSH DARN STOP IT.

DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE AND YOU'LL FEEL WORTHWHILE, 

whatever your size, shape, fitness level, looks, abilities...

Because my happiest, fullest moments are not connected to me practicing self-love.  They were moments of loving outside myself.  They are moments that usually have nothing to do with me.

Now 1.  While I believe I'm not alone in this, I know there are those who struggle in their minds more than I can imagine and I don't want to sound like I have all the answers.

and 2.  This doesn't mean I'm ignoring the extra 20 lbs and becoming Mother Theresa.  I've got only 6 months left in 2015 to see if I can get a marathon in, and my medals are one of my shallow sources of happiness...

aaaaand 3.  The picture above looks like I'm peeing on the poor seal.  I know you thought that and I need you to know that I know.  I'm aware.  But my hair looks beach-sexy, doesn't it?

hopes and dreams

"Brenda, why is your barbie on the mantle?"

"It's me when I grow up!"

"Oh, you want to look like Barbie?"

"No, I want to play video games FOREVER."

bodacious crimped hair

I tried to just focus on a specific memory I have that makes my mom special.  And instead of lots of garbled words, I did a picture.

Gosh darn it, my mom sewed me dresses.  And sometimes a matching one for herself.

I'd march into church SO proud. 

Love you Mom.  Let's wear matching dresses again sometime.