mother to mother (part 2 of the previous post)

Brenda struggled in church today.

Not with religion- I think she's good with God.  But with patience to sit  -just sit down and be calm.

We've been smart lately to dress her with leggings under her dress because one coping mechanism for her is to sit with legs in the air and head squished back in avoidance.  (She doesn't care if that means her bare legs and underwear are out for all to enjoy.)   I could tell the day would be a rough one when in the first few minutes those legs were up and her hair was beyond repair...

I had brought her into my class for a while to give her teachers a break.  She cried and yelped and refused to maintain any sort of composure.  Under my breath I was threatening all sorts of horrific results-

No trip to Grandma 'n Grandpa's house.  Legos are going in the garbage.  I'll make you watch Suzie eat all the popsicles...  

Oh she tried.  She took long breaths and stared off in the distance.  But one word or movement would throw her to the floor with an anxious shriek.

We walked and talked and she was eventually able to rejoin her class.  She was surprisingly tolerable the rest of the time, holding her water bottle and destroying the paper label.  Her teachers ask me what to do with her rollercoastering and I just give them a blank stare.  It's embarrassing to be the mother and all I got is a shoulder shrug...

After church a sweet lady approached me, after witnessing some of the commotion, and complimented my calmness and control.  I thanked her but had to laugh when I said "Oh, if  you only could hear the thoughts in my head!".

As parents of  ________  kids (Fill in the blank with handicapped, normal, tall, short, freckled, breathing, ...whatever) lets all just admit that we really don't know what we're doing.  (It can't be just me!)  That everyday we're just hoping that nobody figures out that we really don't know what we're doing.  But if we ALL just let it out, at the same time...

Here we go-

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!  
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It's much less embarrassing when you're not standing alone (undressed) like in those dreams...

Now if you joined me in our most revealing proclamation then you're probably like me, sitting back with a smile.  -relieved in the equally-confused companionship.  This isn't a moment of frustration and weakness.  It's a moment of surrendering to reality.  A moment to laugh and cry over milk and cookies.  We can bond over the little daily triumphs that come unexpectedly between diapers and spilled juice.  We are re-enthused to take the lessons learned today and do better tomorrow.

We can RELAX.

If you didn't co-proclaim then you might be worried about me and my parenting.  ...And you must know what you're doing. 

Welcome to planet Earth, could you watch my kids while I nap?