holy pancakes

I didn't run today.  Or yesterday.  Or the day before that.  Or the day before that...

It's my quiet time to let muscles heal, stretch, breathe...  All the while thinking HOLY PANCAKES I'm running a MARATHON.

on SATURDAY.

Yeah, it's not my first and, fingers crossed, not my last. 

But being my third I've approached this one faaaar too casually.  I trained.  a bit.  Funny thing is that I'm stressed that I'm NOT stressed.  THAT is what is stressing me out!!

MARATHONS ARE HARD DANG IT!

My thought process has been something like this:

  'I should have trained more...  yeeeaaah.  ...What do I wear?

hmmmm...

Well, I've got my pink top that is comfortable, but I hate the color and maybe I want something baggy and those black shorts would be good but I haven't seen those in a while maybe I left them somewhere which would suck 'cause I like those shorts but I also like my running skirt but then the pink shirt is definitely out but that's ok 'cause I have the blue shirt but if I wear that shirt I must remember to buy body glide with those sleeves that give me rug burn under my arms after mile 10 so come to think of it I'd rather not wear that shirt at all so do I go with the pink or BLACK!  The black shirt? Do I wear the black shirt?  Does that one go with the skirt?  Or just wear it with the black shorts or is that too much black?' 

My lack of proper stress and silly-stress substitution is probably just my way of avoiding the reality that SATURDAY IS GOING TO KILL ME.  It's not the same marathon I've done the last couple years.  This one is a bully marathon.  It's going to shove me around, throw me against a few walls and drain every drop of joy out of my sobbing, hobbling body. 


Fun huh?

I can see why I've been taking a 'blah' attitude and putting mental energy towards trivial things.  Life is easier when big things, like marathon deaths, don't bother you.  I mean, what can I do about it?  Not go?  pfft.  I get burgers and ice cream afterwards.