My name is Lindsay and this is just so I don't feel guilty for not keeping a written journal...

Thursday, February 21, 2013

weird science

Driving the girls home from the grade school science fair-

Me: So girls, what was you favorite part of the science fair?

(long pause)

Brenda: I like zombies.  Zombies eat brains.

Suzie:  I like fairy princesses.  ...and dinner.


Me:  ...Alrighty then.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I shall call her Cordelia

Well this is exciting.

I get to show off a Pinterest success.

Here we go-

The original pin-

 The tutorial- here

...and what I came up with-

Total cost?  About 3 dollars.

Total time?  About 3 hours.

So you see why I've just GOT to show it off...

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Brenda's bubble

As a teenager I had to have a couple surgeries in my mouth.  (Stubborn adult teeth, hiding somewhere in my face...)  Even though I was numbed, it was still quite frightening.  Drilling noises and bloody cloths coming from your mouth just don't give off a relaxing sort of vibe.  Call me crazy.  But it had to be done and I was a big girl.  (When I had to go back and have the surgery redone my mom got me a Valium and though I'm sure it worked, I remember sitting stubbornly-quiet and thinking NOPE.  IT ISN'T WORKING.  I'M STILL HATING THIS.)  But here's the point of my sharing- I had an ah-ha moment today. 

During those surgeries I came up with a small but affective coping mechanism.  I slipped my right hand under my shirt and pinched a bit of skin next to my belly-button.  I can't remember how long the surgeries lasted (felt like DAYS) but I just pinched away while my gums were brutalized.   That harmless pinch was the perfect escape.  I was in control of that pain.  It was me, and that wasn't scary.

The ah-ha moment was seeing Brenda smack her head with her fists when Suzie insisted on talking over her movie.  (Garret used to hit himself, but with some training/parenting and growing up he eventually stopped.  For him it was stimulation and he was able to learn that there are more fun ways to stimulate the senses...)  With Brenda I always understood the behavior was an escape, a coping thing, but now I get why she chooses to hurt herself.  She is replacing an uncontrollable pain/stress with a controllable pain.  ...a pain that isn't scary.  AH-HA!  I have never thought of it that way!  Brenda is like me with my hand under my shirt!  (Um, that sounds weird.)

I'm seeing more why Suzie is the perfect sister for Brenda.  Garret has learned to (for the most part) respect Brenda's "world".  Suzie, on the other hand, will bravely barge-in, meddle-with and continue to connect with Brenda, whether Brenda likes it or not.  In the safe and loving atmosphere that our home provides, my 9-yr-old is getting some great practice in letting go.  Perhaps, in a way, Brenda is scared of Suzie.  Scared of the chaos she brings.  But she loves Suzie.  She knows Suzie is her little sister.  What a gift!  I think Suzie is going to help Brenda with confidence in stepping outside of her bubble.  I think it's a match made in heaven.

Speaking of matches made in Heaven- Brenda and "Peaches".

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


I spent a good portion of today singing ACDC's "Back in Black" which was really mostly just shouting da da and ya ya because those lyrics are nearly impossible to understand.  When the kids showed signs of annoyance I just sang louder.  I mean hey, I listen to their Blues Clues, Aquabats, and Cat in the Hat videos.  Most the day I'm hearing "MOOOOM!"  "I'M HUNGRY!"  "I WANT JUICE!"  "GARRET IS BREATHING ON ME!!"  "SUZIE NEEDS A TIME OUT!"  "BRENDA WON'T PLAY WITH ME!!!"

So I find little ways to rebel.

I wasn't a rebellious kid growing up.  I wouldn't say I'm a rebellious person now.  Growing up I could watch my older brother push the limits and it was easy to see how that never really worked in his favor.  I have the type of personality that likes things peaceful and fun and simple.  Limits and proper authority figures were concepts I never had a problem with.  They provide me with a bubble of safety and direction.  So that's me.

But.  I do find pleasure in defying society in little ways.  I like to drive fast.  I like loud music.  I like saying CRAP.  I like giggling with my friends through Walmart like we're 13.  Some days I like leaving the house ungroomed just to prove I don't have to please anybody.  I like eating cookies before dinner.  I like setting housework aside to play on the computer.  Heck, I'll leave wet laundry in the washer overnight 'cause I'm bad like that.

It's not much, but it gives me balance I guess.  I have that sense of being my own person while still being the good person I want to be.  (Too many be's in that sentence- take that grammar.)  I should be embarrassed perhaps, that I'm in my mid-30s and I'm blasting Aerosmith in my dusty minivan.  But I'm not.  I'm pretty content.  Dare I say that I think I'm pretty cool?

Suzie has nailed this move BTW

I can see Suzie getting her sense of self as she just has to do things her own way.  She'll stay within a reasonable, obedient limit, yet she is determined to add her own flare.

Me: Suzie, sit down here so I can help you with your shoes.

S: I will sit over there and you will help me with my shoes.

Me: Suzie, it's time for bed.

S: OK mom?  I'm going to bed and you're going to lay down with me and I want ummmm GIRAFFE with me NOT elephant today and I'm going to take my sippy cup, 'cause my sippy cup is for bed time and you don't say no.  ...Don't say no mom.  OK come on!

I don't think we're so unique.  I think we all have a little stubbornness to set ourselves apart from the norm.  Even if it is a little lame...  'Cause I'm BACK IN BLACK!!!  BAP!  DA DA BAP! DA DA BAP!  NEERNEERNEERNEERNEERNEEEER BAP! DA DA BAP! DA DA BAP!...

Yes, I realize I'm a dork.  But I'm having fun and that's what's important, right?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

suck it up Lindsay

Well, it is definitely time to drag my way out of the winter slump and get back in shape.  Over the past few months my running music has been played more in the car, and my running clothes have been stuffed in a drawer when usually they're stuffed in the dirty-clothes hamper.

running music is the BEST car music

About a week ago I promised Monica that I would exercise at least 20 minutes everyday except Sunday.  20 minutes is the perfect time frame since some days it's all I have in me, and on other days I'm thinking 'Hey, if I'm gonna workout, I might as well go on a nice long run!'. 

And Solana got me on this idea of doing pushups and squats every day.  The squats have been super since I can watch tv and my legs still have some muscle.  The pushups are another story.  I'm stubborn about doing real-like-the-boys pushups (knees off floor) and after a dozen or so I'm having to pretend my children's lives depend on me getting back up. 

...Sometimes my children don't survive.

So this past week has been an eye-opener with aching muscles and pathetic yoga attempts.  Oh, but my laundry is piling up!  I'm trying to get past the this-was-SO-much-easier-6-months-ago mindset and focus on the this-will-be-SO-much-easier-in-6-months thoughts.  And it's not like I haven't done any sort of exercise lately.  The problem is that when your attitude is 'MEH', your workouts are:


I am getting excited tho.  I AM FIGHTING MY WAY OUT OF THIS SLUMP!  New songs and a new jacket.  Garret will be happy to climb back into his jogging stroller.  (I need just a bit more arm strength...)  And plans plans PLANS! 

Meanwhile, Brenda has been helping me relax by insisting on cuddle time before sleep.  Her bed is actually really comfy.  ...and hard to get out of.  Really, I grunt and groan and wonder if yoga will help me or ruin me...

Monday, February 4, 2013

weekend runneth over

I feel a bit indulgent posting about my birthday.  To really describe my weekend requires a bunch of OOZING over my beloved friends and family.  From shopping to dancing to tacos to yummy-lotion-flower-thingies to carrot cake to roses to BIG family pictures to PANERA BREAD to yoga to Hokie-5 to ABBA to romantic books...  needless to say, I had an awesome weekend.

But enough about me, anyone catch the Super Bowl?

I just love my friends.  And I LOVE my family.

I am one lucky 34-yr-old. 

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