My name is Lindsay and this is just so I don't feel guilty for not keeping a written journal...


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A mess a day...

.
.
.
...sounds about right.


So lately my children have really kicked the messes up a notch.  I've had many a moments of thinking, "No sense in fixing this.  Just put everyone in the car, and get a new start somewhere far away..."  A couple hours/days later things are back to normal just in time for the next disaster and I'm thinking, "What is the point?".

So what is the point?

What's the point of baths when every day is this?


What's the point of time spent cleaning, when it's all comin' down again?

I couldn't help but laugh when snapping these shots.  There are SO many things worse than mud...


Yesterday I barked at my kids.  I barked(barked, meaning a short-lived yell)  I had enough self-control to not go wild, but not nearly enough for a good-mommy award.  Later, after I had the mess under control I went to find Garret.  He was huddled in the corner of the yard, hugging his knees.  He wouldn't look at me.  I felt terrible.

So some nights I go to bed thinking that these kids deserve a better, stronger mom.  I tell myself that tomorrow I'm going to be sweet and fun and playful and patient and gentle and blah blah blah, but then I wake up to find Brenda in the bathroom spreading my hair dye ALL OVER THE FLOOR.

So what's the point?



Disclaimer: I made this entire post up.  I am a perfect mom who is perfectly perfect in every way and my perfect kids live in a perfect house.  ...Even the leftover paint that's dried up in Garret's hair is perfect 

(Why is my face twitching???)


9 comments:

Sue O said...

Oh Lindsay, I said the same thing to myself every night when my kids were young. And they were relatively mild children. I would have gone berserk if I had had to deal with the messes that you do. And I say that knowing that Garrett is a love and a child of God. But you are dealing with more than your share of chaos so don't feel guilty if it makes you crazy.

Bethany said...

At least it was a short lived yell! My yells are not often short lived, I hate to say. Sometimes, as a mom of two very imaginative, active little kids, I look back at the last 4 years since Natalie was born and realize that I was in survival mode for at least 3 of those years. You're a good mom, Lindsay! And I agree, there are so many things worse than mud!

kerry b said...

Miss Lindsay,
I used to say if God wanted our jobs done right, he would have picked different moms. You know that he picks only the best for these kids. Yours got you and mine got me. Hey if it makes you feel better I think I got mom of the week award once in 2008, I will let you borrow it lol... Those days can be emotionally draining.. Jordan says "hi" to Garret and says cleaning out the freezer is fun...

Becca Jane said...

Every night in my prayers I ask God to forgive me for screaming at my kids. I always resolve to do better the next day....but it just never works out that way! I often feel like Cameron needs a stronger mom too. I literally cannot do it some days with him. But we press on. Focus on the good days, and let the bad days pass by.

Brenda said...

Every mother feels inadequate. Even I did and you know how "perfect" I was!

Radke said...

I agree with everything said above, so I won't repeat it. I just want you to know I am in awe of you. You are a wonderful mother and handle your life's ups and down's beautifully. I know I could never respond as well as you do, which is why my kids are less of a challenge..well for other moms, but not me. I just hope they turn out better than I did. Then I know I did a decent job even though I beat myself up many nights for my faults throughout the day. Keep calm and carry on.

DeAnn said...

I think you're perfect!

lindsay said...

You gals are all so great! Now who wants to watch my kids tomorrow? haha

DebZ said...

SQUEEZE MACHINE. Yep! Every mom needs a squeeze machine from time to time. :-)

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